the dory in me strikes once again
Yup, she has wreaked havoc once again.
Just the other night, I was excitedly going through in my mind the things I would be posting today in my new-found open journal (a.k.a. my new blog). Believe it or not, that little perky, sunshiny fish inside my head suddenly appeared out of nowhere and – BAM! — erased any trace of my pre-planned entries.
*sigh*
I never was a big fan of journals, even when I was small. The only journal entry I remeber writing (in a cute diary with a lock that never works — gold at heart-shaped pa!) was a “literary masterpiece” I entitled “Dracula’s Abode”. So you can see that even from the start, my weird self was already making itself obvious. (Is there such a thing as my non-weird self? I think I’m just plain weird, period.)
Anyway, imagine my chagrin at finding out the wonderful entry I had in mind wasn’t there anymore. Almost like what happens to me everytime I have a fantastic dream, like one where I’m supposedly with “the ONE”, but only to wake up and remember everything except who the guy was. Bummer.
I was surfing the net (of course, duh!) and I stumbled upon this poem that perfectly describes my predicament:
Something I Need to Remember
There's something I need to remember.But somehow it seems I forgot.I'll sit here until I recall it.I won't move an inch from this spot.
Is sleeping the thing I've forgotten?Did I not remember to eat?Did I take a shower this morning?Is all of my homework complete?
Should I be at home or at school?Or watching a show on TV?Are some of my friends coming over?Is somebody waiting for me?
And why am I sitting here thinking,not moving an inch from this spot?I'm sure that there must be a reason,but somehow it seems I forgot.
–Kenn Nesbitt
Now I’m having a serious dilemma — do I also keep a written journal to jot down my invading and unpredictable thoughts? well, that idea seems daunting to me, considering my also weird schedule and my fear of ningas cugon creeping up on my shoulder once I start the habit of writing everything down. You see, I’m looking forward to let my thoughts come out of the dark, dank closet I call my mind and venture out into the wide, open, grassy area I call “the world”, lest they stink and eventually dissipate (like what already happened to my sayang thoughts).
Hay. Ang hirap talagang kausapin ang sarili. Hindi ako sanay.
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